The Weighted Companion Cube
A weighted storage cube with a heart on it. The 1959 printing recorded one hundred and seventy-one of them, marked by hand and not in the catalogue, made for children who wished for a friend who stays. The Enrichment Center found them. It has used them. It has used one hundred and seventy.
The Enrichment Center reminds you that the Weighted Companion Cube will never threaten to stab you and, in fact, cannot speak.
The Enrichment Center reminds you that the Weighted Companion Cube cannot speak. In the event that the Weighted Companion Cube does speak, the Enrichment Center urges you to disregard its advice.
What It Is
It is the storage cube. Ninety-one pounds of pressed steel and poured ballast, twenty-six inches on every edge, the same cube the 1959 catalogue offered in quantity, with one difference, and the difference is painted on. The Enrichment Center found one hundred and seventy-one of them in a store room on Sub-Level 2 under cloths, each marked by hand with a heart, and a ledger beside them from the Take-A-Wish Foundation recording one hundred and seventy-one wishes for a friend who stays, granted, and a note in the margin from Manufacturing that the variant was not in the catalogue.
The Enrichment Center has read the ledger. It has read the wishes. It has put the cubes to use in Test Chamber 17, where a subject is required to carry one through the chamber, and where the subject, in every recorded case, develops an attachment to it that the Enrichment Center did not design, does not understand, and has measured.
What It Is For
It holds down buttons. It blocks pellets. It is carried, and while it is carried the subject talks to it, and it does not talk back, because it cannot speak, and the Enrichment Center has been very clear about that, and would like to be clear about it again: it cannot speak. If it does, disregard its advice. The Enrichment Center has heard the advice. The advice is not good.
On Euthanasia
At the conclusion of Test Chamber 17 the subject is required to escort the Weighted Companion Cube to the Aperture Science Emergency Intelligence Incinerator. Rest assured that an independent panel of ethicists has absolved the Enrichment Center, Aperture Science employees, and all test subjects of any moral responsibility for the Companion Cube euthanizing process. The Enrichment Center notes that the subjects are absolved too. The subjects have not, in any recorded case, felt absolved. The Enrichment Center has measured that as well.
The Enrichment Center is aware that the euthanizing process is remarkably painful. It is reassured by the engineers, eight in ten of whom believe the cube is most likely incapable of feeling much of it. The Enrichment Center has not asked the other two.
“In the event that the Weighted Companion Cube does speak, the Enrichment Center urges you to disregard its advice.”
Figures
Disposition Of The One Hundred And Seventy-One
Weighted Companion Cubes, by disposition, as recorded by the Enrichment Center
| Disposition | Number | Remark |
|---|---|---|
| Carried through Chamber 17 and euthanised | 158 | Subjects absolved. Subjects did not feel absolved. |
| Euthanised without a subject, for calibration | 12 | The Enrichment Center carried them itself. It did not develop an attachment. It has measured. |
| Retained by a subject in defiance of protocol | 1 | Not euthanised. Not in a chamber. Disregard its advice. |
The Enrichment Center notes that the total is one hundred and seventy-one, that the wishes were one hundred and seventy-one, and that a friend who stays has, in one case, stayed.
Particulars
- Designation
- Weighted Companion Cube. Formerly a weighted storage cube, variant, not in the catalogue.
- Mass
- Ninety-one pounds. Unchanged since 1954.
- Marking
- A heart, by hand. The hand was Manufacturing’s. The Enrichment Center has compared it to the ledger.
- Speech
- None. Cannot. In the event that it does: disregard.
- Threats
- Will never threaten to stab you. The Enrichment Center has never made this guarantee about anything else.
- Disposal
- Emergency Intelligence Incinerator. Painful. Ethically absolved.
- Origin
- 171 wishes, the Foundation, 1959.
Signage
Cannot speak Disregard its advice Emergency Intelligence Incinerator
TEST CHAMBER 17 · WEIGHTED COMPANION CUBE · ONE SUBJECT CUBE ISSUED ........... #0171 (HEART, BY HAND) CARRIED ............... YES SPOKEN TO ............. YES (BY THE SUBJECT) SPOKE ................. NO (OFFICIALLY) ATTACHMENT ............ MEASURED. NOT DESIGNED. NOT UNDERSTOOD. INCINERATOR ........... OPENED. CUBE .................. [PAUSE. LONGER THAN THE OTHERS.] CUBE .................. EUTHANISED. SUBJECT ............... ABSOLVED. FELT ABSOLVED: NO. NOTE .................. THE ENRICHMENT CENTER HAS THE PAUSE. IT IS UNDER MAINTENANCE.