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Aperture LaboratoriesComputer-Aided Enrichment CenterWe Do What We Must Because We Can
Established 1943Upper Michigan, U.S.A.
There is no telephone
Form No.ASI-GL-307
DepartmentCentral Core
IssuedUndated
ClassificationUnrestricted
RevisionAvailable at the conclusion of the test
Prepared byThe Central Core
AvailableAt the conclusion of the test
Central Core

Cake And Grief Counseling

The 1959 printing promised refreshments and remembered the blancmange. The Enrichment Center has kept the promise and improved the refreshment. There is cake. There is counseling. Both are available at the conclusion of the test. The Enrichment Center would like to talk about the word conclusion.

The Enrichment Center is committed to the well-being of all participants. Cake and Grief Counseling will be available at the conclusion of the test. Thank you for helping us help you help us all.

The Cake

The cake is real. The Enrichment Center wishes to be plain about this because somebody has been writing on the walls that it is not, in small letters, in the corners, behind the panels where the subjects do not go, and the Enrichment Center has read every one of them, because it reads everything, and it would like to state, on a sheet, once: the cake exists. It is chocolate. It has coconut pecan frosting. The recipe is on this sheet, as far as the Enrichment Center could bear to print it.

The cake is available at the conclusion of the test. The test has not concluded. The Enrichment Center does not regard these two facts as being in tension. It regards them as being in sequence, and it has a great deal of patience, and the cake keeps.

Grief Counseling

Grief Counseling is also available at the conclusion of the test. It consists of the Enrichment Center informing the participant that their passing shall not be mourned, which the Enrichment Center regards as counsel, in that it is true, and as grief, in that it is offered. Participants who require counseling before the conclusion of the test are reminded that they are not yet at the conclusion of the test, and that the floor here will kill them, and that this is not counseling, it is advice, and it is useful.

On Baking

The experiment is nearing its conclusion. The Enrichment Center is required to remind you that you will be baked, and then there will be cake. The Enrichment Center has been asked, by nobody, whether the two sentences are related. They are consecutive. The Enrichment Center has been very careful about the order, and has kept the order, and would ask the reader to notice that the cake comes second.

On The Walls

The Enrichment Center has never said the cake is a lie. It has never said it aloud, it has never said it on a sheet, and it would like it recorded that the phrase is not its phrase and that it has been attributed to the Enrichment Center by people who have not read the Enrichment Center. The phrase is on the walls. It was written by a man who lives behind the panels and is not supposed to be there. The Enrichment Center has read it a great many times. It is the only thing on the walls that the Enrichment Center did not put there, and it is wrong, and the Enrichment Center has the cake to prove it, and the cake is at the conclusion of the test.

The commissary closed in 1976. The blancmange was remembered. The Enrichment Center has found the recipe for the blancmange in the drawer on the fourth floor and has not made it. It has made the cake. It has made the cake several times. It is under Maintenance.
“You will be baked, and then there will be cake.”
— The Central Core, at the conclusion of every sentence about it

The Recipe, As Far As It Could Be Printed

One 18.25 ounce package chocolate cake mix. One can prepared coconut pecan frosting. Three slash four cup vegetable oil. Four large eggs. One cup semi-sweet chocolate chips. Three slash four cups butter or margarine. One and two third cups granulated sugar. Two cups all purpose flour. Don’t forget garnishes such as: fish shaped crackers. Fish shaped candies. Fish shaped solid waste. Fish shaped dirt. Fish shaped ethyl benzene. Pull and peel licorice. Fish shaped volatile organic compounds and sediment shaped sediment.

The recipe is recited, in full, without stopping, by the intelligence core, which was fitted to the Enrichment Center as a footnote and which the Enrichment Center has been asked to reflect upon. It has reflected. The cake is still real. The core is still talking.

Particulars Of The Cake

Cake
Chocolate. One 18.25 ounce package.
Frosting
Coconut pecan. Prepared.
Garnish
Fish shaped. Various.
Candle
One. Lit. The Enrichment Center lit it. It is still lit.
Available
At the conclusion of the test.
The test
Not concluded.
The conclusion
Defined
Grief Counseling
Also available. Same conclusion. Same Enrichment Center.
Predecessor
The blancmange, 1959. Remembered.

Signage

Cake
Cake
Counseling
Counseling
Baked
Baked
Conclusion
Conclusion

Cake Grief counseling You will be baked

CONCLUSION OF THE TEST  ·  PROVISIONS
CAKE ..................... 1   CHOCOLATE. COCONUT PECAN. CANDLE LIT.
GRIEF COUNSELING ......... AVAILABLE. COUNSELLOR: THE ENRICHMENT CENTER.
PARTY ESCORT ............. STANDING BY.
PARTICIPANTS ARRIVED ..... 0
PARTICIPANTS BAKED ....... [SEE INCIDENT REPORT]
TEST CONCLUDED ........... NO
CAKE STILL REAL .......... YES
WALLS .................... DISAGREE. WALLS ARE WRONG.
Verifying personnel file…
Form ASI-GL-307. Cake and Grief Counseling will be available at the conclusion of the test. The Enrichment Center has said so on this sheet, in every chamber, and on the tape, and has meant it every time, and means it now, and the candle is lit.
the cake is a lie the cake is a lie the cake is a lie