The Aperture Bulletin

The Materials Department confirms receipt of the final lot of lunar substrate, bringing the company’s holding to one thousand one hundred and forty pounds from forty-one vendors in nine countries. The consignment is the largest privately held inventory of its kind in the world, and the President has asked the Bulletin to say so and has asked the Bulletin not to say what it cost, and the Bulletin has done both.

“A bargain,” the President told the Bulletin. Accounting, contacted for comment, declined to use the word.

The Machine Shop Ironmen took their fourth consecutive league title on the ninth, defeating the Gate House in a final that Mr. Pike, bowling alone on both lanes, took to the last frame. The Marine Division finished ninth of fourteen for the third year running, which the Division regards as the best result any of its programmes has achieved.

Facilities has asked the Bulletin to report that the number two car of the main shaft elevator was at the third floor on the evening of Tuesday the eleventh of November, that the shaft was locked at six, and that on the morning of Wednesday the twelfth the car was not at the third floor, nor at any floor, nor in the shaft, nor in the pit.

The car was located on Thursday the thirteenth at Sub-Level 6, in a gallery which the number two car does not serve and which has no elevator doors. Facilities has no explanation. Facilities has given the Bulletin nine paragraphs of no explanation and the Bulletin has retained four.

The car is back in service. It has been inspected twice. It runs eleven minutes down and nine minutes up, which is the same as before, which Facilities would like to stress.

Personnel are reminded not to press the button twice.

The Autumn 1958 issue reported that the Materials Department’s bench four had been replaced “for the last time”. Materials has asked the Bulletin to correct this to “for the third time”. The Bulletin regrets the error and regrets, in advance, the fourth.